I posted an ad on craigslist, in the Miscellaneous Romance category, inviting people with a story to tell about answering a personals ad to send me an e-mail and their permission to blog it
Our first responder writes:
Hi
Yes. He came to my door. I let him in and led him to the bedroom.
He was about 40. Tall, goodlooking.
I knelt before him and slipped off his shoes. He grabbed my hair. I unzipped his jeans and took hold of his throbbing member.
He pushed my face to him. I took him in my mouth and he became rock hard. I undid his belt, and took his jeans off. He sat on the edge of my bed.
I, still kneeling, looked up at him and thanked him for choosing me. He slapped my face. Told me I was his whore. His cumrag. I thanked him again.
Again, he grabbed my hair and forced himself into my mouth. I sucked, licked and served him his pleasure. He became so swollen, I didn't think I could keep him in my mouth any longer, then he released. Cum everywhere. I swallowed, and lapped it up. it was all over my face, in my hair.
It tasted so good. I got so swollen my self, I came in my pants.
He comes over every other Tuesday and makes me serve him his pleasure.
I have a Mistress, but he is my secret Master.
7.20.2006
7.19.2006
No Fatties
She's right. There are a lot of men who post NO FATTIES in their ads, but I've noticed that they tend to be young men who still have a lot invested in the fantasy about the perfect woman.
My interpretation of M4W ads - 34
While cruising the M4W ads with no particular purpose in mind except to investigate the workings of the modern male animal mind, I have experienced two revelations: That many of these men post repetitively [there are guys that have a new ad up every day/weekend with the same photo] and they loathe overweight women. Now what construes a body as overweight can vary. Certain people have a tolerance for less body mass than others...but here is the catch: MOST WOMEN FEEL THAT THEY ARE OVERWEIGHT. I'm imagining there is a horde of women who'd like to respond to the ads but they are afraid the men would be repelled by their size 14 body. Yes, there are women with great slender bodies that are aware of how great they look....but these women aren't looking for mates on the internet usually. They meet men everywhere they go unless they are socially stunted.
So I get a real kick from the guys that are posting NO FATTIES in such a tone of frustration. I mean, not only are you desperate for a woman but you're looking for a body type that is natural only to 13 yr. old girls or less than 6% (I'm making shit up here) of the female population. I suppose that's why there are so many pedo's on myspace cruising for underaged girls. Did I just say that out loud?
I'm not saying you should not have a preference....goodness knows, I have preferences too...but I would not exclude someone I might have a great time with just because he doesn't have the black hair, green eyes and 6'1" body that I find attractive. I'm just making a late night observation. I'm not looking for dates, my weekends are already booked up with guys & friends that want to spend time with me.....and I'm a size 16.
My interpretation of M4W ads - 34
While cruising the M4W ads with no particular purpose in mind except to investigate the workings of the modern male animal mind, I have experienced two revelations: That many of these men post repetitively [there are guys that have a new ad up every day/weekend with the same photo] and they loathe overweight women. Now what construes a body as overweight can vary. Certain people have a tolerance for less body mass than others...but here is the catch: MOST WOMEN FEEL THAT THEY ARE OVERWEIGHT. I'm imagining there is a horde of women who'd like to respond to the ads but they are afraid the men would be repelled by their size 14 body. Yes, there are women with great slender bodies that are aware of how great they look....but these women aren't looking for mates on the internet usually. They meet men everywhere they go unless they are socially stunted.
So I get a real kick from the guys that are posting NO FATTIES in such a tone of frustration. I mean, not only are you desperate for a woman but you're looking for a body type that is natural only to 13 yr. old girls or less than 6% (I'm making shit up here) of the female population. I suppose that's why there are so many pedo's on myspace cruising for underaged girls. Did I just say that out loud?
I'm not saying you should not have a preference....goodness knows, I have preferences too...but I would not exclude someone I might have a great time with just because he doesn't have the black hair, green eyes and 6'1" body that I find attractive. I'm just making a late night observation. I'm not looking for dates, my weekends are already booked up with guys & friends that want to spend time with me.....and I'm a size 16.
7.18.2006
Blackmail, or A Moral Dilemma
I have been quite titillated by a number of the ads that I see online. Sometimes I can go quite far down the rabbit hole and spend entire days immersed in the fantasy evoked by an ad.
One category of ads that I have avoided entirely reposting here is that of married men (or women) looking for someone to address the needs not being addressed by their partner. Some of them are quite brave in what they reveal. And there's no way, of course, for anyone but the author to know whether it's real or a fantasy or a private joke. So, I just don't go there.
But someone else has:
An invitation to a difficult choice... - m4w - 30
I am sure this missive comes as a surprise. You have no doubt felt secure in the secrecy of your indiscretion. However, I’m afraid you have been a bit careless in your efforts to cover up the situation. I am in possession of the letters and certain photographs that unambiguously depict your role in this sordid business. A little sleuthing has positioned me to reveal these to everyone – your significant other, your family, and your workplace. I am willing and able to do so at any time. I am well aware of the depths to which this would reduce you.
By now, you are desperately trying to guess my identity. A fruitless exercise, I fear, as we’ve never met before, and I stumbled upon all of this quite by chance. Fortunately for you, my silence in this matter can be bought. I don’t mean with money, of course – I have my own ample means and no need whatsoever for yours. I have an alternate sort of compensation in mind.
Before you leap to the conclusion that I’m demanding a few awkward, one-sided couplings in dull motel rooms, understand that I have as little interest in that as you. Which is not to say that my intentions are strictly chaste, mind you. My interests just happen to lie outside the bedroom. I am curious to see how a woman like you countenances shame and humiliation. You will cater to my whim in this regard, acting in the capacity commonly termed that of the submissive.
What will this entail? Honestly, I am loathe to spoil the surprise, but I suppose a taste of what’s to come is needed for you to make an informed decision. When we take dinner at Aqua, say, I might ask you to retire to the restroom to remove your undergarments, and render them to me, for the duration of the evening. Perhaps in lieu of lunch one afternoon, I’ll request that you take a stroll with me along Baker Beach – the nude portion, that is. Or maybe I’ll register a room at the W for the day just so you can “inadvertently” welcome room service in the buff. If you are in any minor way disobedient or snarky, perhaps I will make you wear nipple clamps while we walk through the MOMA. These examples are purely illustrative, of course, and over time my interests, and your boundaries, may expand. Provided that you are compliant and courageous in the face of an occasional adventure along these lines, I will preserve your secret. From what I know of your inner life, I even harbor an inkling that this might appeal to you, on some level.
I say “occasional” because I am a busy man, and as entertaining as this situation might be for me, I can hardly make a vocation of it. I imagine that my schedule couldn’t accommodate more than one such session every couple weeks, if that. I do however expect you to make yourself available upon request. That much said, we can endeavor to avoid any disruptions in your lifestyle – I have no desire to draw attention to our antics by coming between yourself and your work or relationships. This will merely be our little secret on the side. You are used to keeping secrets, I believe.
When you’ve had some time to think it over, contact at me at the given address and let me know your intentions. If I do not hear from you within a week, then I will begin taking steps to air your dirty laundry. Should you choose to accept my offer, I will suggest a neutral place and time, such as an afternoon at a café, where we might inaugurate our agreement.
You shall know me only as, Mr. W
[[You are female, in your 20s or 30s. You are educated, cultured (you wouldn’t ordinarily feel uncomfortable in any place I mention above, with the possible exception of Baker Beach), financially secure, yet drawn to the prospect of role-playing a submissive. An interest in exhibitionism and moderate BDSM is preferred. You would rather keep our face-to-face encounters as “in-character” as possible. You are intrigued by the psychological aspect of this more so than any physical interaction. You are above all game for some safe, legal, and hygienically uncomplicated fun. Detailed out-of-character discussion of boundaries and directions is encouraged.
I am male, in my 30s, probably overeducated, a little wry and mischievous, tall and quite thin, supercilious, versed in food, travel, and the arts. I am in a long-term and open relationship, and this would be a good match for someone in a comparable situation. In case this somehow failed to be conveyed above, I am not out looking for sex.
For the benefit of any psychotic or deeply troubled readers, this scenario is pure fiction, and any resemblance to your personal delusions/problems is entirely coincidental.]]
One category of ads that I have avoided entirely reposting here is that of married men (or women) looking for someone to address the needs not being addressed by their partner. Some of them are quite brave in what they reveal. And there's no way, of course, for anyone but the author to know whether it's real or a fantasy or a private joke. So, I just don't go there.
But someone else has:
An invitation to a difficult choice... - m4w - 30
I am sure this missive comes as a surprise. You have no doubt felt secure in the secrecy of your indiscretion. However, I’m afraid you have been a bit careless in your efforts to cover up the situation. I am in possession of the letters and certain photographs that unambiguously depict your role in this sordid business. A little sleuthing has positioned me to reveal these to everyone – your significant other, your family, and your workplace. I am willing and able to do so at any time. I am well aware of the depths to which this would reduce you.
By now, you are desperately trying to guess my identity. A fruitless exercise, I fear, as we’ve never met before, and I stumbled upon all of this quite by chance. Fortunately for you, my silence in this matter can be bought. I don’t mean with money, of course – I have my own ample means and no need whatsoever for yours. I have an alternate sort of compensation in mind.
Before you leap to the conclusion that I’m demanding a few awkward, one-sided couplings in dull motel rooms, understand that I have as little interest in that as you. Which is not to say that my intentions are strictly chaste, mind you. My interests just happen to lie outside the bedroom. I am curious to see how a woman like you countenances shame and humiliation. You will cater to my whim in this regard, acting in the capacity commonly termed that of the submissive.
What will this entail? Honestly, I am loathe to spoil the surprise, but I suppose a taste of what’s to come is needed for you to make an informed decision. When we take dinner at Aqua, say, I might ask you to retire to the restroom to remove your undergarments, and render them to me, for the duration of the evening. Perhaps in lieu of lunch one afternoon, I’ll request that you take a stroll with me along Baker Beach – the nude portion, that is. Or maybe I’ll register a room at the W for the day just so you can “inadvertently” welcome room service in the buff. If you are in any minor way disobedient or snarky, perhaps I will make you wear nipple clamps while we walk through the MOMA. These examples are purely illustrative, of course, and over time my interests, and your boundaries, may expand. Provided that you are compliant and courageous in the face of an occasional adventure along these lines, I will preserve your secret. From what I know of your inner life, I even harbor an inkling that this might appeal to you, on some level.
I say “occasional” because I am a busy man, and as entertaining as this situation might be for me, I can hardly make a vocation of it. I imagine that my schedule couldn’t accommodate more than one such session every couple weeks, if that. I do however expect you to make yourself available upon request. That much said, we can endeavor to avoid any disruptions in your lifestyle – I have no desire to draw attention to our antics by coming between yourself and your work or relationships. This will merely be our little secret on the side. You are used to keeping secrets, I believe.
When you’ve had some time to think it over, contact at me at the given address and let me know your intentions. If I do not hear from you within a week, then I will begin taking steps to air your dirty laundry. Should you choose to accept my offer, I will suggest a neutral place and time, such as an afternoon at a café, where we might inaugurate our agreement.
You shall know me only as, Mr. W
[[You are female, in your 20s or 30s. You are educated, cultured (you wouldn’t ordinarily feel uncomfortable in any place I mention above, with the possible exception of Baker Beach), financially secure, yet drawn to the prospect of role-playing a submissive. An interest in exhibitionism and moderate BDSM is preferred. You would rather keep our face-to-face encounters as “in-character” as possible. You are intrigued by the psychological aspect of this more so than any physical interaction. You are above all game for some safe, legal, and hygienically uncomplicated fun. Detailed out-of-character discussion of boundaries and directions is encouraged.
I am male, in my 30s, probably overeducated, a little wry and mischievous, tall and quite thin, supercilious, versed in food, travel, and the arts. I am in a long-term and open relationship, and this would be a good match for someone in a comparable situation. In case this somehow failed to be conveyed above, I am not out looking for sex.
For the benefit of any psychotic or deeply troubled readers, this scenario is pure fiction, and any resemblance to your personal delusions/problems is entirely coincidental.]]
7.13.2006
A Very Creative Approach
I think that "farcically cynical" is the most unusual qualification to-date.
one-week stand
One-night stands being both insufficient to fully explore possibilities and having a bad aftertaste, I propose here a one-week stand:
a - 3 dinners
b - 3 flicks
c - 1 art exhibition
d - 24 instances of sex (schedule available on request)
(a, b & c is convertible to d)
Mutual quals: educated, good looks, fit and on the lean side, city dwellers, farcically cynical.
Start date: this weekend.
one-week stand
One-night stands being both insufficient to fully explore possibilities and having a bad aftertaste, I propose here a one-week stand:
a - 3 dinners
b - 3 flicks
c - 1 art exhibition
d - 24 instances of sex (schedule available on request)
(a, b & c is convertible to d)
Mutual quals: educated, good looks, fit and on the lean side, city dwellers, farcically cynical.
Start date: this weekend.
7.07.2006
Unintentional Self-Portrait?
Found online:
Work sucks!
First off, it should be illegal to be ignorant! Bring out the handcuffs for stupid people! I work with adolescent teens ages 13-17 in a drug rehab group home setting.. and thats hard enough as it is, but when u have coworkers (coworkers not colleagues.. these bitches never seen a day of college.. LOL) that are dumber than a doorbell, it makes work so much more difficult. All they do is yell to get their point across... Why? What does that solve? Stop yelling and have a mature debate or conversation with people! The lack of education (u dont have to go to school to be educated, all u gotta do is pick up a book, read, listen to what people who are intelligent have to say) makes people yell because they feel so small intellectually that they have to use their agressive voice or force to get their point across... anyway... thats all for today.. does anyone feel me???
Work sucks!
First off, it should be illegal to be ignorant! Bring out the handcuffs for stupid people! I work with adolescent teens ages 13-17 in a drug rehab group home setting.. and thats hard enough as it is, but when u have coworkers (coworkers not colleagues.. these bitches never seen a day of college.. LOL) that are dumber than a doorbell, it makes work so much more difficult. All they do is yell to get their point across... Why? What does that solve? Stop yelling and have a mature debate or conversation with people! The lack of education (u dont have to go to school to be educated, all u gotta do is pick up a book, read, listen to what people who are intelligent have to say) makes people yell because they feel so small intellectually that they have to use their agressive voice or force to get their point across... anyway... thats all for today.. does anyone feel me???
7.06.2006
Did you foresee e-mail order brides?
I am not at all certain what is being discussed here, or if the author is a man or a woman. There is a photo at the end of the ad, obviously taken with a web cam. A smiling Asian woman whose tilted head suggests a submissiveness that her eyes deny, cuddling up to a pale, balding older man with dark rings in permanent residence under his eyes. The ad has a horizontal line dividing it into two parts, for no apparent reason. Did he write it or did she?
Re: Mail Order Brides
I'm sitting here in Manila wondering what to do. Business is not going so well. I hired three local guys, one after the next, to build me a web site to promote my business. I represent nearly a thousand girls, all the best material, but I just can't get them sold. The web sites just didn't work out--they attracted business, but not the right kind, not the kind that pays. And the Phillipine banks didn't cooperate. The web guys just couldn't set up a system that bypassed them so I got the money. In addition, my customers are complaining to ME about their own government. Apparently, these days it takes like 5 years for the wife to get approval, or whatever it is, and lots of them are being sent back.
So like I say, I've got a thousand girls and no customers. So I'm thinking. How do I promote my business?
I call a customer who might have some contacts. He's saying his friend has been all over the web for years looking for girls and has no luck, but he doesn't have the $5K it takes for my fee and the plane tickets, fees for the girl's visa, all that. All over the web, I ask? What way? He answers, posting ads, answering ads.... I ask, you can put up ads? Can he put up one for me? Look, tell him send me 14 new customers and he gets everything free. Plane tickets, everything.
______________________________________________________
I picked out the one I wanted from the photos Melanio sent. I wanted them direct from the agency so I knew they were real. I found guys for the rest, real easy, and it paid my way. How did I do it? It gets easier and easier as you go along. And I got a feel for it, based on the responses I got, and what I did. Now, it's a full-time living, and who knows how far it can go. What you do is you go to a free site with a lot of frustrated guys hanging around it, some site with girls' ads and also a place to bitch and moan about them. If you can get a flame war going that gets the American girls stirred up, it keeps things current and you can keep getting responses from guys who are fed up trying for them. I even put up my own site, "No Marriage," that taps into their nostalgia for what they thought they could expect when they grew up.
So now I have guys working for me. They try whatever they think of. Hell, I even know of one guy who put up a furniture ad with a picture of some totally unrelated people, even children. Stirred up a big crisis on Craigslist and he got a lot of responses.
Like I say, whatever works....
this is in or around Manila
Re: Mail Order Brides
I'm sitting here in Manila wondering what to do. Business is not going so well. I hired three local guys, one after the next, to build me a web site to promote my business. I represent nearly a thousand girls, all the best material, but I just can't get them sold. The web sites just didn't work out--they attracted business, but not the right kind, not the kind that pays. And the Phillipine banks didn't cooperate. The web guys just couldn't set up a system that bypassed them so I got the money. In addition, my customers are complaining to ME about their own government. Apparently, these days it takes like 5 years for the wife to get approval, or whatever it is, and lots of them are being sent back.
So like I say, I've got a thousand girls and no customers. So I'm thinking. How do I promote my business?
I call a customer who might have some contacts. He's saying his friend has been all over the web for years looking for girls and has no luck, but he doesn't have the $5K it takes for my fee and the plane tickets, fees for the girl's visa, all that. All over the web, I ask? What way? He answers, posting ads, answering ads.... I ask, you can put up ads? Can he put up one for me? Look, tell him send me 14 new customers and he gets everything free. Plane tickets, everything.
______________________________________________________
I picked out the one I wanted from the photos Melanio sent. I wanted them direct from the agency so I knew they were real. I found guys for the rest, real easy, and it paid my way. How did I do it? It gets easier and easier as you go along. And I got a feel for it, based on the responses I got, and what I did. Now, it's a full-time living, and who knows how far it can go. What you do is you go to a free site with a lot of frustrated guys hanging around it, some site with girls' ads and also a place to bitch and moan about them. If you can get a flame war going that gets the American girls stirred up, it keeps things current and you can keep getting responses from guys who are fed up trying for them. I even put up my own site, "No Marriage," that taps into their nostalgia for what they thought they could expect when they grew up.
So now I have guys working for me. They try whatever they think of. Hell, I even know of one guy who put up a furniture ad with a picture of some totally unrelated people, even children. Stirred up a big crisis on Craigslist and he got a lot of responses.
Like I say, whatever works....
this is in or around Manila
7.04.2006
Earnest, Systematic, and Determined
The humor falls a little flat at times, but his heart is in the right place.
Disclaimer: I don't write these, and they are not about me!
Linked and posted with permission of the author.
My journey on craigslist - 31
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/m4w/178376477.html
Date: 2006-07-04, 2:04PM PDT
I moved from beautiful state of Arizona to California. Yeah yeah, Arizona isn't beautiful, just listen to my story. Once here, I was looking for furniture, apartment, girls etc. though not necessarily in that order. My friends told me about craigslist. First time I saw it, I was ecstatic. It was so easy to find anything. I decided to take it on a test drive, starting with the most difficult thing, finding a chick.
There starts my journey of ups and downs, well there were no ups, but just pretend there were, it makes me feel better. So I posted my first ad
"Looking for sex"
I got 2 responses from, putting it mildly, San Francisco guys. That was no good. Craigslist had failed me. I was probably not clear enough, so I tried again
"Want a female for sex"
This time even those two guys did not respond. My score had dipped from 2 to 0. I was not making any progress. After a few tries, I told myself, isn't it better to find a lady for long term, then we can share and enjoy more. Finding a new girl every time was going to be a pain anyways. This lead me to my next post
"Want a girlfriend - dead or alive, preferably alive"
I thought I was being funny till I got email from 35 happy ghosts, all aged 40 to 216. Summer had already gone by, winter was starting to set in. I was not going to give up, I needed some warmth. I consulted my friends and we formed a craigslist task force. We decided to discuss and come up with innovative eye catching ads. Whoever responds, we will take a vote on who should get her. Now the team was set in place, we got to have some success. We launched a big one on craigslist.
First we decided to respond to all W4M ads. After all these were low hanging fruits, a perfect war strategy. After a few weeks we did realize that these were "very very low hanging" things (cannot call them fruits anymore, you know what I mean?). Sigh!
Our craigslist task force had an emergency meeting. We decided to change battlefield and go on the offensive. We decided to research on what women want and then go from there. We were all excited, now we were getting somewhere. Hence came our next ad:
"Handsome rich tall guy wants love and long term relationship"
Next day we had 23 responses in our mailbox. The task force was invincible. We carefully weeded out BBW ads and 40 year old ladies with 3 kids and herpes looking for sugar daddies and so on. Finally we were able to shortlist one chick for each member of task force. The task force was dissolved and we decided to live our happy lives.
Not so fast dear. Couple of weeks later emergency meeting was called by ex-taskforce. One of the guys did not get any email after first one, one stopped sending emails as soon as she found out he was not rich. I was able to score a date for movie. We decided to go for a chick flick; of course this will contribute to pleasant date experience. She stood me up and I had to watch the chick flick with 2 tickets. 2 tickets helped when I needed 2 seats to take a nap during the movie.
The task force was really tired by now. We decided to go for the 100% tried and tested method. A sure shot way to get laid - buy the plastic Amy.
It has been a whole year. Summer is back. Lovely sun is shining again. Rests of the task force members are now busy and happy. I am sitting on my couch, thinking how I can write an ad that is different. An ad will separate me from all these boring ads, that will catch a nice girl's eye. Gotta think and gotta think hard....
Author: 31/east indian/single/5'10"/well dressed and well mannered
P.S.: All characters in this story are fictional. Any resemblance to me or anybody else is purely coincidental. The author is NOT looking for a purely sexual relationship as somebody may judge from the posting. He is looking for a long term romantic relationship with nice female. If you enjoyed the story and want to know the Author more, send him an email and tell something about yourself.
Disclaimer: I don't write these, and they are not about me!
Linked and posted with permission of the author.
My journey on craigslist - 31
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/m4w/178376477.html
Date: 2006-07-04, 2:04PM PDT
I moved from beautiful state of Arizona to California. Yeah yeah, Arizona isn't beautiful, just listen to my story. Once here, I was looking for furniture, apartment, girls etc. though not necessarily in that order. My friends told me about craigslist. First time I saw it, I was ecstatic. It was so easy to find anything. I decided to take it on a test drive, starting with the most difficult thing, finding a chick.
There starts my journey of ups and downs, well there were no ups, but just pretend there were, it makes me feel better. So I posted my first ad
"Looking for sex"
I got 2 responses from, putting it mildly, San Francisco guys. That was no good. Craigslist had failed me. I was probably not clear enough, so I tried again
"Want a female for sex"
This time even those two guys did not respond. My score had dipped from 2 to 0. I was not making any progress. After a few tries, I told myself, isn't it better to find a lady for long term, then we can share and enjoy more. Finding a new girl every time was going to be a pain anyways. This lead me to my next post
"Want a girlfriend - dead or alive, preferably alive"
I thought I was being funny till I got email from 35 happy ghosts, all aged 40 to 216. Summer had already gone by, winter was starting to set in. I was not going to give up, I needed some warmth. I consulted my friends and we formed a craigslist task force. We decided to discuss and come up with innovative eye catching ads. Whoever responds, we will take a vote on who should get her. Now the team was set in place, we got to have some success. We launched a big one on craigslist.
First we decided to respond to all W4M ads. After all these were low hanging fruits, a perfect war strategy. After a few weeks we did realize that these were "very very low hanging" things (cannot call them fruits anymore, you know what I mean?). Sigh!
Our craigslist task force had an emergency meeting. We decided to change battlefield and go on the offensive. We decided to research on what women want and then go from there. We were all excited, now we were getting somewhere. Hence came our next ad:
"Handsome rich tall guy wants love and long term relationship"
Next day we had 23 responses in our mailbox. The task force was invincible. We carefully weeded out BBW ads and 40 year old ladies with 3 kids and herpes looking for sugar daddies and so on. Finally we were able to shortlist one chick for each member of task force. The task force was dissolved and we decided to live our happy lives.
Not so fast dear. Couple of weeks later emergency meeting was called by ex-taskforce. One of the guys did not get any email after first one, one stopped sending emails as soon as she found out he was not rich. I was able to score a date for movie. We decided to go for a chick flick; of course this will contribute to pleasant date experience. She stood me up and I had to watch the chick flick with 2 tickets. 2 tickets helped when I needed 2 seats to take a nap during the movie.
The task force was really tired by now. We decided to go for the 100% tried and tested method. A sure shot way to get laid - buy the plastic Amy.
It has been a whole year. Summer is back. Lovely sun is shining again. Rests of the task force members are now busy and happy. I am sitting on my couch, thinking how I can write an ad that is different. An ad will separate me from all these boring ads, that will catch a nice girl's eye. Gotta think and gotta think hard....
Author: 31/east indian/single/5'10"/well dressed and well mannered
P.S.: All characters in this story are fictional. Any resemblance to me or anybody else is purely coincidental. The author is NOT looking for a purely sexual relationship as somebody may judge from the posting. He is looking for a long term romantic relationship with nice female. If you enjoyed the story and want to know the Author more, send him an email and tell something about yourself.
Better use spell check if you reply to this one
Would you reply to this ad? What would you say?
Imperfect perfectionist seeks perfect imperfectionist - 37
Are you meticulous, hygenic, orderly and fastidious? Do you have a low tolerance for poor spelling and grammatical errors by native English speakers? Do you have a well-developed aesthetic sense that's reflected in the clothes you wear, your home furnishings, the art on your walls, the wine you drink, the food you eat, the music you love? Are you an impeccable hostess? If so, you might just be my dream girl -- provided you also happen to be Jewish. Please don't leave me wondering; just drop me an email and let me know you exist!
I don't mind hygenic and orderly, but meticulous and fastidious - that's asking too much. And notice how sex is the one thing he doesn't mention? I think what he really wants is a butler.
Imperfect perfectionist seeks perfect imperfectionist - 37
Are you meticulous, hygenic, orderly and fastidious? Do you have a low tolerance for poor spelling and grammatical errors by native English speakers? Do you have a well-developed aesthetic sense that's reflected in the clothes you wear, your home furnishings, the art on your walls, the wine you drink, the food you eat, the music you love? Are you an impeccable hostess? If so, you might just be my dream girl -- provided you also happen to be Jewish. Please don't leave me wondering; just drop me an email and let me know you exist!
I don't mind hygenic and orderly, but meticulous and fastidious - that's asking too much. And notice how sex is the one thing he doesn't mention? I think what he really wants is a butler.
Maybe a Little Humor Will Work
Another intriguing ad:
Hot Sugar mama, apply here
What I expect.. I expect you to meet me at the Fifth Floor with your American Express card. (Black one preferred) I am Hot, so you better be on the same page. You need to be 5' 8" 105 lbs and C-cup. You must be 23-24 years old. I am 43, so that would be perfect. :) After dinner, we can hook up with one of your hottie friends. (Please send pic) and have a party. I play the guitar at all hours. (Even when you are trying to sleep) I like to grab boobs from about 7:00 am till 7:00 pm. Oh let's be honest... 24/7 Did I mention I am broke? I need a sugar mama to bring me a bottle of wine and some 420 once in a while. If you like the way this sounds, please reply. And if you don't , but know somebody that might, I'll give you five bucks.
What kind of response will this ad get?
Hot Sugar mama, apply here
What I expect.. I expect you to meet me at the Fifth Floor with your American Express card. (Black one preferred) I am Hot, so you better be on the same page. You need to be 5' 8" 105 lbs and C-cup. You must be 23-24 years old. I am 43, so that would be perfect. :) After dinner, we can hook up with one of your hottie friends. (Please send pic) and have a party. I play the guitar at all hours. (Even when you are trying to sleep) I like to grab boobs from about 7:00 am till 7:00 pm. Oh let's be honest... 24/7 Did I mention I am broke? I need a sugar mama to bring me a bottle of wine and some 420 once in a while. If you like the way this sounds, please reply. And if you don't , but know somebody that might, I'll give you five bucks.
What kind of response will this ad get?
Asking For What You Want
Today's ad comes to us courtesy of CraigsList, as many of these ads do:
Ladies, like to watch? - 42 (san jose north)
I know this is a longshot but you never know. Anyway, here goes. Are you a woman that has fantasized but never experienced watching a man pleasure himself? If so, you may have found your man as I LOVE being watched by a woman. I'm not looking for a sexual relationship but instead a woman ( you must be single tho) who likes to watch. About me: I'm a 42y/o SWM who's hung, shaved completely below, and cut. I am also 5'7", 175lbs, blond and blue. I so not smoke or do drugs and only drink socially/occasionally. I'm also very clean and d/d free. I'm not the pushy type and will not pressure you into a meeting until you're ready, if at all. I respect your wishes...honestly. With all that said, if you'd like to know more, please message me and let's get to know one another. I'll even show you my equipment on cam so it'll make your decision much easier. My Yahoo is: sanjoseguyloves2giveoral If I cam for you, please be able to prove you're at least a woman. :-) Hope to hear from you.
Okay, I love this guy. He just wants to show off his equipment for the ladies. He doesn't want to meet them, and he will even set up his web cam just for you, if you can prove you're a woman.
He gives his Yahoo! IM name, so you can contact him if you're interested. If you do, please come here and tell us all about it.
Ladies, like to watch? - 42 (san jose north)
I know this is a longshot but you never know. Anyway, here goes. Are you a woman that has fantasized but never experienced watching a man pleasure himself? If so, you may have found your man as I LOVE being watched by a woman. I'm not looking for a sexual relationship but instead a woman ( you must be single tho) who likes to watch. About me: I'm a 42y/o SWM who's hung, shaved completely below, and cut. I am also 5'7", 175lbs, blond and blue. I so not smoke or do drugs and only drink socially/occasionally. I'm also very clean and d/d free. I'm not the pushy type and will not pressure you into a meeting until you're ready, if at all. I respect your wishes...honestly. With all that said, if you'd like to know more, please message me and let's get to know one another. I'll even show you my equipment on cam so it'll make your decision much easier. My Yahoo is: sanjoseguyloves2giveoral If I cam for you, please be able to prove you're at least a woman. :-) Hope to hear from you.
Okay, I love this guy. He just wants to show off his equipment for the ladies. He doesn't want to meet them, and he will even set up his web cam just for you, if you can prove you're a woman.
He gives his Yahoo! IM name, so you can contact him if you're interested. If you do, please come here and tell us all about it.
7.02.2006
The Eye of the Beholder
I like the moire effect in this graphic. Can you see the eye?
This is the image the photo icon for this site is based on. I created it using a photo of myself wearing a blue scarf. I enjoyed doing unspeakable things to that photo in a graphics program.
Mostly, I was trying to keep it from looking so much like a nipple.
I'm not sure it worked.
Do Tell: Obsessed with online ads
I have always wanted to be a fly on the wall when some of the personals advertisers meet.
This ad for a sensual massage is the one that piques my interest today:
All sessions start with a chat about your needs, desires, and boundaries ( I have some too! ). Once we have discussed the style of session for you I'll give you a few minutes to disrobe and get comfortable on my table. Soft music, candles, and savory scents will surround you as my very large hands start moving those daily stressers out of your body. Your circulation will improve and hopefully at this point the mind will relax and the heart will open, your body will start to dance with the movements of my hands, body, and breath. My touch will flow seamlessly from deep to light and from your outer extremities to your inner heat. Your breath will sync with mine as I lead you to the steps of ectasy and whole body release. A brief description of me physically- I'm 6'8", 230lbs., in shape/slim with dark hair, green eyes, a few beautiful tattoos, and a warm and welcome smile.
What I want to know is - what happened next? Was his e-mail server overwhelmed by the traffic? Did anybody show up?
What do you think happened?
What about you? Have you posted or responded to an ad? I want to hear all about it...
This ad for a sensual massage is the one that piques my interest today:
All sessions start with a chat about your needs, desires, and boundaries ( I have some too! ). Once we have discussed the style of session for you I'll give you a few minutes to disrobe and get comfortable on my table. Soft music, candles, and savory scents will surround you as my very large hands start moving those daily stressers out of your body. Your circulation will improve and hopefully at this point the mind will relax and the heart will open, your body will start to dance with the movements of my hands, body, and breath. My touch will flow seamlessly from deep to light and from your outer extremities to your inner heat. Your breath will sync with mine as I lead you to the steps of ectasy and whole body release. A brief description of me physically- I'm 6'8", 230lbs., in shape/slim with dark hair, green eyes, a few beautiful tattoos, and a warm and welcome smile.
What I want to know is - what happened next? Was his e-mail server overwhelmed by the traffic? Did anybody show up?
What do you think happened?
What about you? Have you posted or responded to an ad? I want to hear all about it...
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