Earnest, Systematic, and Determined

The humor falls a little flat at times, but his heart is in the right place.
Disclaimer: I don't write these, and they are not about me!
Linked and posted with permission of the author.

My journey on craigslist - 31

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/m4w/178376477.html

Date: 2006-07-04, 2:04PM PDT

I moved from beautiful state of Arizona to California. Yeah yeah, Arizona isn't beautiful, just listen to my story. Once here, I was looking for furniture, apartment, girls etc. though not necessarily in that order. My friends told me about craigslist. First time I saw it, I was ecstatic. It was so easy to find anything. I decided to take it on a test drive, starting with the most difficult thing, finding a chick.

There starts my journey of ups and downs, well there were no ups, but just pretend there were, it makes me feel better. So I posted my first ad

"Looking for sex"

I got 2 responses from, putting it mildly, San Francisco guys. That was no good. Craigslist had failed me. I was probably not clear enough, so I tried again

"Want a female for sex"

This time even those two guys did not respond. My score had dipped from 2 to 0. I was not making any progress. After a few tries, I told myself, isn't it better to find a lady for long term, then we can share and enjoy more. Finding a new girl every time was going to be a pain anyways. This lead me to my next post

"Want a girlfriend - dead or alive, preferably alive"

I thought I was being funny till I got email from 35 happy ghosts, all aged 40 to 216. Summer had already gone by, winter was starting to set in. I was not going to give up, I needed some warmth. I consulted my friends and we formed a craigslist task force. We decided to discuss and come up with innovative eye catching ads. Whoever responds, we will take a vote on who should get her. Now the team was set in place, we got to have some success. We launched a big one on craigslist.

First we decided to respond to all W4M ads. After all these were low hanging fruits, a perfect war strategy. After a few weeks we did realize that these were "very very low hanging" things (cannot call them fruits anymore, you know what I mean?). Sigh!

Our craigslist task force had an emergency meeting. We decided to change battlefield and go on the offensive. We decided to research on what women want and then go from there. We were all excited, now we were getting somewhere. Hence came our next ad:

"Handsome rich tall guy wants love and long term relationship"

Next day we had 23 responses in our mailbox. The task force was invincible. We carefully weeded out BBW ads and 40 year old ladies with 3 kids and herpes looking for sugar daddies and so on. Finally we were able to shortlist one chick for each member of task force. The task force was dissolved and we decided to live our happy lives.

Not so fast dear. Couple of weeks later emergency meeting was called by ex-taskforce. One of the guys did not get any email after first one, one stopped sending emails as soon as she found out he was not rich. I was able to score a date for movie. We decided to go for a chick flick; of course this will contribute to pleasant date experience. She stood me up and I had to watch the chick flick with 2 tickets. 2 tickets helped when I needed 2 seats to take a nap during the movie.

The task force was really tired by now. We decided to go for the 100% tried and tested method. A sure shot way to get laid - buy the plastic Amy.

It has been a whole year. Summer is back. Lovely sun is shining again. Rests of the task force members are now busy and happy. I am sitting on my couch, thinking how I can write an ad that is different. An ad will separate me from all these boring ads, that will catch a nice girl's eye. Gotta think and gotta think hard....

Author: 31/east indian/single/5'10"/well dressed and well mannered

P.S.: All characters in this story are fictional. Any resemblance to me or anybody else is purely coincidental. The author is NOT looking for a purely sexual relationship as somebody may judge from the posting. He is looking for a long term romantic relationship with nice female. If you enjoyed the story and want to know the Author more, send him an email and tell something about yourself.